Saturday, July 2, 2016

Sleep Writing- Thoughts on Oppression

Last night I did not sleep. I stayed in bed until about 4am, when my racing mind drew me from my bed to my living space. There I sat on my couch and began writing in my phone. Over the past two months I have been brought face to face with people of great diversity. I have felt challenged to step out and meet my neighbors. When I started, I thought I was reaching out to heal others, but I am now finding a healing in myself. I am on a journey and the writing that follows is what the Holy Spirit has been walking me through, and for some reason I could not sleep until I wrote it out.

Oppression ends when generations, person by person, choose to actively respond out of an overflow of love for their enemies. To have sorrow for injustices we receive, and to grieve pain caused by those injustices, without seeking healing, will produce a greater bitterness and hate. Open wounds are the propulsion of generational hate. Allowing such a brokenness to linger in the air implores our offspring to hold such a hate with no true basis. To demand an apology for pain felt, is to tie your identity and self worth to the empty road of brokenness. In short, hurting people hurt people.

Many people spend a lot of time responding to such hate with more hate. We assume that if we are strong enough to overpower someone then the pain will stop. The issue here is that it is only a matter of time before the self proclaimed hero becomes the oppressor. As I consider this, I think of the passing of racial slurs. I think of my youth when, on a daily basis, I was called cracker and little white boy. These terms were created to demean a demeanor and 150 years later they were serving their purpose. The only difference is the recipient had no intention of demeaning because he was only six years old when this started. Likewise, my brothers and sisters of other racial identities receive equal and greater oppression in even worse ways. The temptation is to respond with militant intentions. Though we may not act in physical violence, the subtle slurs of conversation allows the stench of hate and oppression to linger. Undoubtably, physical violence leaves the world in shambles, but verbal violence perpetuates hate generation to generation.
The narrative that must replace oppression is one of repentance and belief. It is the narrative given to us by Jesus, where in we are able to experience true reconciliation. To repent should be an obvious beginning of the pattern. Remove the plank. Admit the problem. Encounter the issue first hand. We are broken and we need a doctor. Then, in human relationships, believe. To assume one man is to rich to care or to assume another is to lazy to receive the blessing of needed resources, is to build a micro hiarchy on the back of self-righteousness. We must reach out to eachother, encountering our preconceived notions head on, and repenting of them. This will make room for belief. Instead of judgement, you will have made room for the journey of understanding. Mutual understanding and repentance for personal withholdings of compassion and love leads to generosity. Generosity places value on that which we once considered a threat to our right of the enjoyment of life. We here find ourselves in a place where we can no longer judge but rather, we can only bestow honor.
Many know that this road is a long one, full of disappointed, responsive violence, and daily failures. However, if there is one thing worth dying over, it is divinely inspired love. The issue at hand is that it is easier to respond in violence because, like everything else in our society, it produces an immediate retributive results. Perhaps consumerism has even intensified the violence of the present age. It is far more difficult to enact, as Mother Teresa once implored, a 'small things with great love' philosophy and theology. No oppression. No hatred. No violence. Only love. Only compassion. Only honor for God and the eternal bearers of His glory. This requires patience. It requires intensive intimate heart surgery to remove the cancers that lay dormant, waiting for their moment to break out. Intimate relationship with God is the beginning of the end of our personal role in oppression.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Art for Art's Sake, and A Little More

In a society that is largely designed for the high functioning type A athlete who wants to peruse business or law, the artist is often forgotten. The artist is losing value increasingly, as society places value in tasteless television, music, and movies that are dirty as possible. I recently was speaking to a local artist who, in one day, had several people ask him to do pieces for him with no inclination that there would be any kind of compensation. Now I am not writing to say that artists should be paid more, or that all artists should only work for pay. In fact, I aim to say the opposite. The issue is that even with a 4 year degree and multiple amazing pieces the artist is seen as someone with simply a cool hobby at best, and as a grown up kindergartener who works part time pouring coffee and finger painting.

The artist has been totally necessary for the success and wellness of society across time. Propaganda, in his spoken word hip hop piece, notes that the downfall of the Roman Empire was due to lowered standards and moral decay. I am not much of an economist but it does seem that our society's standard for art is falling apart and our government is placing an increasing amount of emphasis on military.

The issue at hand is not the government, or even personal television preferences. The issue is that God's creation has settled for less than God's intent, while others reject the very people that push for more, the artists. In the ancient Roman Christian world, the artist existed to tell the story of the church. In the middle ages, artists began asking questions with their work. The result was the  Renaissance. Artists were not commissioned to ask the questions that propelled society and the church forward, but to simply show answers. It is limitations like these that drive the artist from the church. A professor of mine, Dr. Bounds, says that each person is given gifts from God, but a gift that is not used in maturity can do more damage than good. Being an artist is a gift from God, therefore it should be stewarded as such. I would like to say that churches need to revive the arts, but it would seem that without artists who are mature in both their faith and their craft, revival can not come about.

So how does the state of our society, arts in the church and mature artists connect? Funny that you asked. I was just going to answer that. If we want to see society changed, we must see the church change. If we want to see the church change, we must see individuals change. I recently attempted to start an arts program in my church. It did not take off due to my over commitment in other areas of my life, but I learned one thing. Art is a discipline. To be an artist one must learn to find joy in simply creating for Art's sake. This is partly true, but the reality is that one must create for God's sake and the individuals sake. An artist who does not create is slowly suffocating a vital part of themselves that reflects the very image of the creator God. Before an artist can help the Church, they must learn to love creating because when they do it they grow closer to God.

The past months I have been learning to create my work in my quiet times. I rarely feel closer to God than when I am creating. I got a lineless journal that allows me to sketch. I paint in my times off over watching television and I have started doing everything I can to create for the Lord. If other people like it, then fantastic. There are few joys in life greater than seeing someone value my work, but more than that is knowing I am valued by God as I create. For 19 years I only painted, sketched or sculpted when told to. I engaged in writing music but I connected to God in other artistic ways. For artists, whatever your craft may be, I urge you to simply create.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I am developing and maturing as an artist, so as I go from milk to meat, I will write to hopefully help grow and develop alongside others who desire to dedicate every part of their life to God.

The piece above is called "Leave A Light on Chicago". It helped me process some things I have seen in the City of Chicago and it allowed me to pray hope over the city.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Time Past, Time Off and Time to Come

The last two weeks have been full and exciting. When I last wrote we were just about to start our second week of camp at Olivet. I tried to take a mess of pictures to sort of show what we do. I don't know that I accomplished it all that well but here we are. I'll try to caption to explain as best as possible.

This is my view most of the time. I control the lyric content, slides and video that goes on our main screens.









This is just one minute before our opening session.








These are our mood pilots. There roll is to get the kids hyped and to essentially give them a reason to go crazy. This shot is from our week opener. Crazy loud music and out of control lighting. Every kid gets a laser pointer and gets to go nuts and forget about everything in their life that doesn't make sense for just a moment. It is really cool.




Here is a quick loop of what our lighting designer, Brad, can do. It is amazing to see the show.



This is Jeff. He is the founder and current man in charge. He is a man of great vision and heart for the kids. He also has a killer three, so if you're playing him in basketball get ready to keep your hands up.






This is Steve Carter of willow lake who was in to preach for the week. He was a super intelligent guy that loved the Lord and loved to teach kids more about what it means to follow Christ daily.

This is a call for students to write down the things that are keeping them from following Christ closer. No doubt a powerful moment and one they will never forget.
This is a shot of chase and his band. This band lead us in worship all week and we saw som amazing things happent that I could never have enough time to write about. Good days

 Here is Charlie and Becca. They take time each morning to teach the students about how to read the Bible and why they should make it a consistent part of their lives.
This is a game that was put on by Becca and John. They are the MCs for the week and they are two of the goofiest people ever. Good days.







The week was made great by a few brief visits from Shea. It was great to get to show her a little of what I do.










That is a glimpse of what our weeks look like from day to day. Between the sessions we have times of working out, late night ice cream and food runs, napping, exploring and general relationship building.

WEEK OFF!

Last week I got the week off. I got to do a load of good things. The weeks started off with writing and recording music in Marion with Christian and Daniel. We have our first song well on its way. We hope to get an EP in the near future. I also was able to spent the night with my friends Chris, Rachel and their  son Thatcher. We had crazy good tarts with Al and Cherilyn. Tuesday was and awesome time with my family for Bryce's birthday.

Wednesday morning I headed up to visit Shea in Chicago for three days. Wednesday we just did our thing, which typically includes watching loads of Ellen, sleeping, eating and hanging out with whoever stops by. Thursday was 100%, as Shea continually made clear. It is her favorite holiday and was easily the best 4th I have ever been a part of. We got to have a solid slow morning with reading, running and eating. The afternoon was spent preparing for the party which produced a load of different people. We all went to the local firework show where we spent time singing to our favorite country renditions of overly patriotic songs. We then went and sat around a bon fire until 3 in the morning star gazing, laughing and trading stories. I met a guy named Curran, who was from South Africa. We were able to talk for ages about travels and the places were Brad had been in South Africa several years back, which were right close to where Curran lived.

Finally, Friday we went down into the city to see Shea's sister Amanda's apartment. We were able to visit a new coffee shop by Intelligensia. It was an incredible experience, and I was happy to experience it with some close friends. We then went for a walk down in the city, which is always loads of fun. We went back to Frankfort for dinner and a surprise visit to Nicole from Colton. I left Chicago around midnight and was on the road for the next stent of the tour by 7:30 am.




I am now in Hoeten, NY for two weeks. We have two camps here. We have already visited amazing waterfalls and eaten at a real country bar and grill/bowling alley/arcade. Out of control. For those praying for us, we could use prayers for endurance. We have 3 weeks and 3 camps left. We have to drive to NC for our final camp which means a drive through mountains and I can only imagine we will have to forge a river. We all know, as we learned in the Oregon Trail, means potential hypothermia and the ever present yellow fever. Just kidding, but seriously. Thanks for following me, and stay sweet.



Monday, June 24, 2013

Eat. Sleep. Pray

The last few weeks have been absolutely mad. I have been in 3 states, started a new job, and found myself dreaming bigger than I ever have. The Lord has been testing my endurance, and as promised in James 1, it has been growing. I have been finding joy in every sleepless moment, as I do ministry with my friends. I am learning loads practically in ministry and as a result I continually find myself amazed at how little I actually know. 

Training and Camp 1
We are in week three of NTS now. Our first week was an awesome time spent training and building team bonds. We had a day away in Ft. Wayne, played volleyball, had amazing times of worship, and designed/built our summer set. Last week was our first NTS camp. If I could sum up the first week I would have to say pressure. It was madness trying to learn a new program on the fly. Not to mention it was the program that half of our services relied on. After day 3 I began to get a hang of it, and I am learning the basic things I need to do to survive life under pressure. Eat. Sleep. Workout. Spend time with the Lord. Life is a lot more basic than one can imagine. Oh and sometimes you have to go to the bathroom. Our last camp ended on Thursday. We finished loading our trailer at 2am on Friday morning. The week was crazy. We saw well over 100 kids come to the Lord, and many more grew closer to God as a result of the love of God shown through committed leadership.

Michigan 

After a good sleep Friday morning
a group of 12 of my friends went up to Benton Harbor, Michigan to visit a ministry put on by Overflow Church, called the Untitled Lounge. This was absolutely an amazing experience. This ministry was a ministry focused on a number of different things from empowering artistic exploration to racial reconciliatioin. This struck a chord in my heart as well as much of the team that traveled up with us. This ministry team included members of our new artistic intentional community and band called the Meek. You can see a recap video by Christian Barreno. More information will becoming as this idea develops and God grows our dream. 




This week we are at Olivet Nazarene University. At the moment we are set up and 30 minutes from opening doors. Until next time stay sweet. 

Friday, June 7, 2013

Solitude, Goodbyes, and Celebrations


The past two weeks have been a time of reflection and preparation for my up coming adventures, on the road. It feels pretty unbelievable that I'll be shoving off from Indy Monday morning for my first week of NTS camp orientation and preparation. The last two weeks have been filled with goodbyes as I prepare to leave home. I finished my work at Panera Bread last week and walked out, after a close, feeling a strange mix of happy and sad emotions. Many of my co workers and regulars at Panera I have know for 3+ years and it is always hard to leave them. Walking out of Panera gives me a blissful hope of the coming adventures that always seem to follow my departures.
End of a Panera
Since I finished up at Panera, I have had an excess of free time, which I have been trying to be productive with. Most of my time I spent either playing music or training for my end of the summer adventure. This cycle has often been interrupted by visiting with friends. One of these occasions, Will came down to Indy to spend time with Brady, myself, and a whole slew of new friends to celebrate Brady's birthday. Brady has been a staple for my sanity over the past month, and really over the years. It was great to get to celebrate who he has been to me, and what God has in store for him in his 22nd year.
Dustin is Getting Married

Along with celebrating Brady, I was also fortunate enough to be able to celebrated Dustin's engagement in Brown County, IN. If you have never been to Brown County, it is a little slice of heaven just south of Bloomington, IN where the houses grow farther apart and the stretches of forest grow larger and larger. Here we stayed Jason Chapels parents cabin(more on them later), which was tucked in the woods, out the back of a long gravel driveway. Here we lived like men, eating more protein than one could possibly imagine, driving trucks through mud, shooting guns and playing shower games. It wouldn't be a Keith Harshbarger party without shower games. It was great to tell funny stories of Dustin from throughout the years, and to indulge in some of his favorite activities. We took an 8 mile hike, on and off trails, in Morgan Monroe State Park, which was easily my favorite part of the weekend. Nothing like wondering through the forest with no agenda beyond simply enjoying God's creation and avoiding the mad tick infestation. Once we got back from our hike, we went to visit Jason's parents Mike and Dot. These two folks were amazing. We dropped in  as they were sitting down to dinner and the second we pulled up they were on their feet showing us one of the greatest displays of hospitality I have seen in some time. We were still 30 feet away from them and they were offering us drinks and inviting us into their home where we spent about 2 hours chatting and playing music. Bryce and I spent a good amount of time playing music with Mike, who was an incredible guitarist, and it was easy to see where Jason gets his talent. He showed me his new-found love for bluegrass tunes and I showed him some of my songs. We capped the weekend off with several hours of shooting guns at everything from pictures of random things to water bottles to watermelon. Maybe I think gun laws should be a little stronger, but I have to admit it was pretty fun. The weekend was awesome. It took me the next three days to recover from a beat up shoulder, exhaustion
and to digest the pounds of meet I ate.
R & R
This week has been a time of rest for me. Knowing that the coming three months will hold little sleep and lots of contact with people, I focused on getting my introverted side well taken care of. I have been experimenting with some of my newer songs, as I prepare to record on the road with Christian. Between jam sessions, I have found myself running more and more. It's strange but I am starting to like it! Last night I went on a good walk through the Starky Park in town Zionsville, where I practiced my new hobby of film photography. I saw one person, one dog and loads of trees. Pretty sweet.

This week I found myself processing nothing over and over, until one night I went on a walk and found myself asking God some hard questions. "Am I ready for what this summer holds?" The Lord spoke to me in simple words that night. "Yes" he said. I responded, "how can I know?" He said, "trust me". That was it. That was all He said. It was strange as I sat on a park bench under the stars talking to Shea on the phone about it, I felt the Lord ease my angst and I found myself feeling prepared to go. I know where I am going, but I am not entirely sure of my responsibilities. This summer will no doubt be a stretch, but I am excited to tell the stories of the people I meet and the work God will no doubt be doing all around me. Be praying for our team to have hearts to serve and listen to what the Holy Spirit desires for us. May God increase as we decrease. Until next time, stay sweet.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mixing the Old with the New

Lesson in the Every Day
The past few weeks have been an exciting mix of the old with the new. Much of my time was spent working at Panera Bread, which is a place where people either seemingly stay forever or quit within a few weeks. The way it looks right now I might be one of those forever people. It has been amazing to catch up with regulars who I have now known for almost three years, and who, even with a counter between us, have played a roll in who I am today. The good ones continually have encouraging things to say, and the less than fantastic customers stretch me to love the image of God that each person holds inside them. I am re learning lessons that I forgot since I left customer service and I am learning new ones about understanding that the people I see in my lines are ones that I know nothing about, and to respond to them appropriately means to simply try to make the moment we are sharing the best it possibly can be. You never know the trials a person has been through in their life, and until you do, you have no authority to be angry. True anger is rooted in truth, so seek to understand the truth about each person.

Shea's Visit

Two weekends ago Shea was able to come and visit me in Indy after her trip to Canada. We had 5 extra family members staying in the house from out west. She was able to meet the Trey's and some other family members she had yet to meet. She has almost met all the brothers and sisters. A pretty daunting task from an outsiders point of view I imagine. Following this overwhelming familial experience was a Saturday with our friends Joseph and Will down town Indianapolis. We ate at the famed YATS, one of my favorite eateries, and we had a good walk in the Mass Ave area. It was so good to get to catch up with old friends for the day.


Seth's Wedding and Dancing(Best read with a British accent)
Last week I was able to attend my cousin Seth's wedding. It was amazing to see someone so stoked about life and spending it with someone he loves so much. It was because of that I realized I needed to dance, and dancing was exactly what I did. I am always hesitant to get on a dance floor, but there is something special about getting out there with some family and simply going hard. Free-style dance fights, YMCA, Electric Slide, Cupid Shuffle, the list goes on. Forgetting about what you or anyone else thinks about you and living in a moment is when the best memories are to be had, and that was another incredible memory added to my life. Cheers Seth. 

A Little Art with your Life Lesson
During much of my free time in all of this I took time to work on some art, primarily a coffee table. This coffee table was created with the idea of mixing the old with the new. It is my sort of take on the pallet craze that has infatuated pinterest viewers across the nation. Life should be a mix of evaluating the old habits and doctrines we think are necessary to keep things in the world right. We should not be afraid to get rid of the things that are unnecessary, while searching for new ways to express the things that are necessary. The ideas of old can be as foolish as the newest ideas. The only difference is the newest ideas don't have time to prove their human nature, so take a risk and try something new. Somehow this table helped me to process that, and what I got was a mixture of the old with the new. The top is block wood from pallets cut down to 3" x 3" squares. The shelf is old pallet wood. The rest of the table is painted and clear coated pine. This table is on display wherever Shea is living, but you can get an idea of it from the pictures. 



Frankfort and New Friends
Finally, this past weekend was an incredible adventure to Frankfort, IL to visit Shea. The weekend started with a trip to Marion to attend Shea's dance recital with a load of good friends. Shea gets the pure joy found in dancing more than anyone I know, so it was awesome to get to watch her in her element. We then stayed until 12:30 visiting with Katie, Colton, Will, Nicole and various other visitors. We quickly realized that this was a worth it sort of mistake, because our hang out session was followed by a 3 hour drive to Frankfort. I ate candy to stay awake. Shea got mad at awful drivers to stay awake, but Shea, Colton, Nicole and I made it back. On Sunday, we went to Naperville, IL to visit Macayla. We went to the best Mexican restaurant I have ever eaten at. I was so hyped eating my quesedilla. This was followed by Cookie Dough Creations which was a place where you get a scoop of ice cream topped with cookie dough. Pretty crazy right? Monday was bitter sweet, with the departure of Colton and Nicole. We then got to hang out with Alex and Mark for the afternoon, as well as later on at night. At dinner I finally got to meet Shea's older sister, Amanda. Dinner was followed by my first viewing of the Lion King. Throw tomatoes now, but I don't get the hype. Tuesday, I was able to meet Shea's friend Hannah, and Shea and I wrote a new song that, with a little divine help, may actually get recorded. Here's to hoping. 

I am now home beginning to prepare for my coming tour. It will hold a host of new interactions, experiences and relationships. I also know that during this time I will miss my loved ones, so my prayer at this point, which I hope you will join me in praying, is that I can learn to be present knowing that my cause is for the Kingdom of God. It is exciting, and I hope to be able to write more often so my posts are less like a family news letter from grandma, and more like a blog post. Until next time, stay sweet.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Deep Thoughts and Dark Chocolate

Deep Thoughts

The past week has held a host of different experiences, thoughts and interactions. A little later on I will write about those, but I first wanted to begin by touching on the idea of greatness or bigness. I have lived my life trying to do great things. When I was younger, it was doing the biggest trick I could do on my skateboard. A little later on, I was trying to learn riffs from the greatest guitar players. Now that I am older, I find myself dreaming, and dreaming very big. That is, after all, how I am supposed to do things...right? Dream big? How are we to define bigness? Who is to say what is great? These questions mull over and over in my head as I observe the western condition of striving and consuming around and in me. Perhaps greatness can not be defined by any stretch of human intelligence. Perhaps greatness is just, well, too big.

It is very easy to continually try to compare my dreams to that of the incredibly intelligent and talented people that surround me. I wonder why my big dreams never seem to come to fruition. This week the Lord reminded me of what I consider my life statement/the lens from which I view all things, now including my dreams. "Seek first the Kingdom and all else will fall into place". This, when phrased as a question,
puts everything in perspective. Dreaming is an incredible gift from God. It is innately a part of who we are as co creators, but we have to look at our desires as we dream. Are we dreaming with a Kingdom mindset, or are we looking at things through the eyes of our own personal kingdoms or even the kingdom of the other.

That was kind of heavy, but for those tracking with me and praying for me, these are the questions I am asking and wrestling through. This past week and a half I have been painting a house almost entirely by myself, sans a much appreciated day with Brad's help. As a result, I have been awarded heaps of free time to think and process the semester past and the summer ahead. Keep praying that God surfaces the things I need to think about to prepare me for my time coming.


Kokomo/Nashville

My adventures this past week started with an incredible day hanging out with Shea and Will in Kokomo. It was a totally unplanned time where we ended up sitting and chatting with Will's grandparents, who are ridiculously cool, until 1 in the morning. Will's Kevin(step-grandpa) at one point was upside down on a couch to illustrate a point of which I have absolutely no recollection, but it was funny. Will's grandma made the great point that every person you encounter knows something you don't, so it is your job to learn what they know and teach what you know. Pretty awesome.

Once my mini Kokomo adventure finished I drove home and hopped right in the car for a drive to Nashville Tennessee for my cousin's wedding. It was a great time with an awesome reception in an old factory. Sunday morning my parents were kind enough to take some of my siblings and I to Barista Parlor, a sweet little speciality coffee shop in Nashville. I had a great cup of Intelligence Kenyan and an incredible breakfast biscuit sandwich that I would drive 5 hours for again. All of that was topped of with some excellent locally stone ground 75% Dark Chocolate. Until next time, stay sweet.